Resolutions...but not really.

I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions, because I feel like they often just set you up for failure. That being said, I'm making a few. Yes, it's January 15th. I'm a chronic procrastinator, so this shouldn't surprise anyone who knows me. I don't even know that I'd call them resolutions, really - though they are things I strive toward.

1. Be a calmer parent. I fly off the handle too often and it's hurting my kids and my relationship with them. They are the most important thing to me, so I need to figure out a way to stop being so reactionary. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.

2. Provide the kids with more craft, mess-making and exploring opportunities. Don't just think of cool things to do with them - actually DO them. Get outside with them more.

3. Be kinder. To show my kids, by example, how to view the world and the people in it.

4. Blog every day, even if it's just a sentence; a funny thing the kids did or said, what we accomplished that day, a fun adventure we had. I can't chronicle our lives in facebook status updates - I need a more long-term solution. Given my inability to find a pen and/or piece of paper on any given day, perhaps the blog world will do for now. At least I could print them out, right?

5. Spend less time on the computer. Yes, this does indeed conflict with number 4.

6. Find motivation.

I know I won't keep up with everything on this list. Life happens. We all have good days and bad days. Some days I'm too tired or sore to do anything but the basics. As I said, these are things I strive for. To be a better mother, wife, daughter, friend. To be kinder, more forgiving. To learn to control, or lessen, my anger impulses. There are SO many other things I want to learn, accomplish, do...but I think this is a start.

To my kids:
I love the three of you more than anything. I'm sorry for every hurtful thing that's ever slipped out of my mouth. I'm doing my best and I'm trying to be better.

To my husband:
I love you. You are a wonderful husband and father. I apologize for everything hurtful I've ever said to you or about you. I'm trying to do better. Please work with me to make a happier, more active life for our family.

<3